Rotten Core
by Moth Gypsy
Summary: An... interesting conversation between Youko Kurama and Hiei that isn't quite what it seems. Slight, nearly nonexistant HieiYouko.


RK: A bizarre thought that came to me in the middle of math class… and I haven't written anything about Kurama and Hiei for quite awhile. Sorry for the shortness, but I like it. Oh, and just so no ones confused, the first line of dialogue is Youko's. And I tried to do it mostly in dialogue because I'm not good at writing conversation and need practice (sweatdrop).

Warnings: Strange concept, I don't completely understand it myself. Very very _very _slight HieixYoukoKurama, but its unnoticeable it you don't want to notice it (and maybe even if you do want to notice it). And a bit of stuff about energy in general, manifestation and indirect references to quantum physic theories.

Disclaimer: I don't own Youko Kurama or Hiei.

.oOo.

"The sun is cruel" He laughed, softly.

"…What makes you say that?"

"Do you think otherwise?"

"…The sun gives life. Without it we wouldn't even exist." His tone is skeptical, and perhaps just a bit weary.

"I think the sun gives us life just to hold that fact over our heads."

"You make it sound like a conscious being."

"Maybe it is. Maybe we're the unconscious ones."

"…You're crazy, fox. You think about the strangest things."

"Really…" His tone is dreamy, but that might just be boredom. "Define conscious"

"Conscious… aware. Responsive in either a physical or intellectual way to one's surroundings. Is that good enough?"

"Yes. Tell me now, what happens when a person has a deliberate thought… a wish, for instance." Tilts his head to the side just slightly to glance at his companion.

The other glances over as well. "Why don't you enlighten me? I fail to understand where this conversation is going."

The fox grins, bearing sharp, pointed fangs. "Just answer the question, little shadow."

Frowns at this. "I told you not to call me that."

"Then answer the question."

The shadow rolls his eyes. "Fine. Depending on the person and the will of their conscience, a message is sent out, a wavelength, a ripple in the unending sea of energy, carrying the form of that wish."

"Precisely."

"And you believe…?"

"I believe," he paused for a moment as though to collect his thoughts, but the slight, almost unnoticeable grin on his face suggests otherwise. "I believe that the sun is a conscious entity that chooses to support us with just enough to survive. Gives us life just to watch us suffer and, ultimately, die."

"And you think that the sun does this with a deliberate thought. Like a human God."

"Yes." He grins wider now and rests his chin in the palm of his hand.

"Hn. Like I said, crazy. You're completely insane."

"Insanity is an idiosyncratic notion conceived by the mind of one who was too self centered to accept the ideas of anyone of a higher intelligence than himself that, unfortunately, spread to those around him until it became common place to label those of different or higher logic than average as such."

"…So you're of a higher intelligence than myself because I fail to see how the sun is not only a conscious being, but malevolent as well?"

"Different or higher, yes."

"…"

The fox sighs, "Certain parts of the world are dense in tropical forest, clear rivers, warmth and plenty. Other are barren and scorching hot, nothing but red dirt and blue sky. In between is where people live. In an enclosure of safety. But, at any given time, the sun can choose to take that all away, destroy everything with a sudden wave of heat or a desolate cold."

"Fox… that's only nature."

"That's the easiest thing to believe. But the truth? It's all part of a pattern, an unending cycle. The wavelengths fit together in perfect harmony and it is embedded into them, a permanent loop of life and death that revolves around the sun."

"Then the sun isn't a conscious being, just an element caught up in something much greater."

"No… that's just it. The sun could protest, it could choose to make everything right, it could… but it just takes the easy way out, lets things fall into place as they would be. It doesn't care that it's hurting us. And, over time, it has come to enjoy our suffering. To believe that because it allows such a thing, it is the one in control."

"You are aware that you're spouting utter nonsense, right?"

"Won't you at least consider what I'm saying?"

He sighs and closes his eyes, "Right… right, because all things should be considered. Because there is no right or wrong, or truth or lie."

"You don't believe it?"  
"…I don't know. But isn't it possible that it's all just a load of crap and the world really is black and white and you really are just grasping at nothing, conceiving of nothing?"

"Certainly, but that can't be proven anymore than anything that I am "conceiving of" and if nothing can be proven then does it really matter whether I am right or wrong?"

"It does. Not that I care. This is why I hate talking with you about these things."

A distasteful frown marks the fox's mouth, but his eyes are more alive than ever. "I… I hate the sun. Life is good, but it is also miserable. I hate that the sun is so careless towards those it should love."

Ruby eyes widen, and suddenly the shadow shifts, an uncomfortable dance like that of the rising flame of a candle wick. _This is why I hate these conversations. This is why. I don't want to know your troubles, and I don't want to feel your burdens, fox. You are too selfish for someone like me._

"Don't you see? It could break the cycle," his voice is impassioned, fevered almost, "but it won't. It _won't _because it… it… humor me, shadow. Why do you think the sun would do such a thing? Aside from the aspect of selfish self empowerment."

"I don't know." He dully retorts before turning to face away.

"What's the matter?" He asks gently. "Are you _that_ tired?"

"Yes. And I don't agree with you." He boldly adds as an after thought, because he very well may have just started what he knows he wants to avoid.

"Well then what do you think?"

He faces up towards the sky. Anywhere but the fox's eyes. "I don't think the sun does it intentionally. I think the sun actually loves more than you give it credit for. I think that any other creature would have completely given up long ago if put in the same situation."

"…It is intentional. Absolutely."

"But… does, or do you think that the sun feels guilty for this?"

"It must, it has to, deep down inside its rotten molten core." He smiled wryly.

The shadow closes his eyes and tries to banish the coil of sadness that has wrapped around his heart. This sadness is not his own and it infuriates him that the fox is doing this to him. The clever quick-silver fiend surely knows, must be aware, it is so highly improbable that this ancient and wizened creature is oblivious… no. The fox is too calculated. And this is a cruel and ill game. "The guilt then… we all do things we know are unkind. But when we feel guilt, when we regret, doesn't that redeem us somehow?"

"No. It doesn't." The fox says with a certainty rooted in what could be wisdom or delusion, smiles with dangerous eyes and picks himself up. "I'll let you sleep then, how dull. I was hoping for more sport from your quick witted mind."

The insult is empty and playful, really more of an apology than anything.

When the fox is out of range, the shadow is left alone and he quietly muses to himself. "The sun is cruel. But that doesn't change the fact that I love it, or that it is worshipped across time by so many.

"But… is it really cruelty, or is it sadness?"

.oOo.

RK: n.n I hope no ones too confused… if theres any questions ask in a review (I don't check my email often so I probably wont get pms.) I know that Kurama might seem ooc, but this is just how I think he is… which is based mostly off of different fanfictions I have read, and not the anime or manga. n.n' Please review!


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